Talking about sex – whether educational or deliberately provocative – seems to automatically put people in that uncomfortable space where squirming and checking their nails seem the norm. If we’re not engaged in the actual act of having sex, then there doesn’t seem to be a time or place to actually engage in an educational discussion about it either.

So it comes as a pleasant surprise that the famous TED talks – usually the space for enlightened discussion and talks about technology, entertainment and design – has also been the space for some illuminating talk about sex. While I’m pretty sure there were members of the audience secretly squirming in their seats (while trying to outwardly maintain an aura of cool detachment), we get to listen to these talks in our homes, safe from the scrutiny of others. Here are five great TED talks on sex:

Jane Langton: A motion for masturbation – the naked truth

Jane Langton gets really raw and naked as she talks about masturbation – her masturbation. She presents a great case about how general health and sexual health are intertwined and if we can start seeing our sexuality honestly then it will spill over to other aspects of our lives. Not that I need another reason to masturbate, but if I did, this talk would surely sway me!

Cindy Gallop: Make love, not porn

I love the energy of this short but sweet talk by Cindy Gallop. Make love, not porn! Every man and woman should listen to this talk and apply it to their sex lives. Porn is not how real people have sex and having that as your barometer for learning about sex is just going to produce a whole lot of frustration.

Esther Perel: The secret to desire in a long-term relationship

I read Esther Perel’s book, Mating in Captivity, a while ago and found it to be helpful in deciphering the language of eroticism. If you haven’t read her book then this talk is a summarized version of what she talks about in her book. Worth a watch for sure.

Christopher Ryan: Are we designed to be sexual omnivores?

Another great talk by the author of Sex at Dawn about whether or not as human beings we are designed to be sexually exclusive. I love how Christopher Ryan doesn’t force everyone to live a non-monogamous life but rather encourages us to not judge others for their sexual choices. Both the book and the talk are worth it!