Relationships are tough enough without having to think about why people cheat on one another. Some people believe that humans are just not built to be monogamous, and some people believe that it’s either the man’s or the woman’s fault. Whatever it is, why people cheat is not as clear-cut as one would like to believe.

Women (and many men) would like to believe that only men cheat, but that ain’t true, women cheat too. There’s just not room here to judge but a lot of space for understanding. Here are some cheating myths that men need to know about:

It ain’t cheating if there’s no sex involved

This is something that both men and women like to tote around – that if there is no sex involved then it isn’t really cheating. Well let me tell you that if you’ve been up all night texting, or you’ve been sharing intimate moments together or having private jokes – then the hurt that your partner is going to feel when he/she finds out is going to be real. It doesn’t matter that sex isn’t involved; you’re still involved with someone else.

Affairs happen because there’s a problem with the relationship

Sometimes affairs happen because they do. Every relationship has its problems, but having an affair and then blaming the relationship for it is a complete cop out. Affairs happen because couples don’t know how to deal with their problems.

Affairs are always with younger, hotter people

Well, tell that to Arnold Schwarzenegger when he had an affair with his housekeeper! Sure there are some people (read; older CEOs) who will go for their young, fit, secretary or pool boy, but many affairs happen because there is an emotional connection made. Or sometimes it’s just something newer than their current partners.

Once a cheater always a cheater

It’s nice to believe the movies when they portray all cheaters as scumbags and, yes, there are scumbags out there. But mostly, affairs are a one-time thing. The thing is, not all men (or women) are just out to cheat on their partners.

Infidelity is not about sex, but about emotional connection

And finally, women like to believe that if they catch their husbands cheating it’s because they’ve fallen in love with someone else. But most of the time, the affair is just about the sex. And when they say it meant nothing, it really didn’t. Not that it makes it any better, but knowing that your husband or wife hasn’t actually fallen out of love with you can help on the road to healing.

Not all relationships end after cheating. It could be something that makes your relationship stronger, depending on how it is approached. Good luck!