Above: Michele Bachmann. Image by Cheryl Casey / Shutterstock.com
You can tell when politicians lie; their lips move. Turns out, that’s a pretty good indicator that they’re spouting prime crapola too…
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Nancy, Nancy, Nancy… you cold bitch you. Telling Wolf Blitzer and the American public that you would not be adding earmarks into the stimulus bill back in 2009 when, to my recollection, the stimulus bill was chock full of earmarks stretching from sea to shining sea… America…
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Rand Paul… I’m not even sure what to make of this statement and from the looks of it neither does the woman sitting behind him. I love the comparison between the right to free healthcare and forceful enslavement. I totally see the connection, Rand. A healthy society where everyone has access to doctors when they need them is totally the same as people being whipped and beaten and denied basic human rights. Why haven’t I made this connection earlier? Paul for President in 2016. You heard it here folks.
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Michele! Oh God bless her soul. I love how she’s trying to spin GOP policies into some utopia she’s created in her head. Thankfully, Bill O’Reilly takes her to task specifically about taking money away from the public schools to give people 10k checks to decide for themselves what they want to do with their kids’ education. Here I thought that Republicans didn’t like subsidies…
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Ted! As this clip from the Young Turks suggests, Ted Cruz really is the most unbearable man in America. I mean, he’s bragging about donating money to Jesse Helms. Jesse fucking Helms, the man who was one of the most racist senators ever! He went on to say that we need a 100 Jesse Helms in the senate. Ted just seems to love making crazy comments but you see, Ted, Jesse would have disliked you because you’re a minority. CRAZY!
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I reached way back for this one and I didn’t want to be accused of just targeting Republicans. Here is President Clinton responding to a question about who knew about his relationship with Monica Lewinsky. Now, I was a kid when this happened but I remember it clear as day. He gets caught up on the word “is”. It all depends on the definition of the word! Ah, yes. You may be the most powerful man in the world but you can’t have sex in the Oval Office with someone other than the First Lady. Plus, I would never want to cross Hilary. She’ll kill you with just one look.
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George Bush, the first one. This is probably his most infamous speech. “Read my lips, no new taxes.” You see Barbara mouthing along with him. Everyone is eating it up. So much so he gets elected president but if you remember dear reader, taxes were raised in 1990, which helped him lose re-election in 1992. When will politicians learn that they shouldn’t make promises they can’t keep?
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Ok, now onto W! Mission Accomplished. Major military maneuvers in Iraq are over! Woooo! We did it. We invaded a country for no reason and overthrew their government and brought so much peach to that land. YAY! Oh, wait. What was that? We’re still sorta in Iraq 11 years later? There is still rampant violence there? Oh man. Georgie, you’re bringing me down.
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I couldn’t do a list and leave out Sarah Palin. She says so many things. My favorite was the 50% of Americans not paying taxes. Who are these people? How are they not paying taxes? I’d like to know. I’d also like to know why we still have to refer to her as governor. I feel that if you can’t finish one full term as a governor, you lose the right to be referred to as governor. Can this one go away already?
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Mike Tuzari, the Republican House leader in the state of Pennsylvania. Here he is stating outright that the voter ID laws would help Romney win the election in 2012. How did that work out for you? Not so well it seems. Also, you’re not even trying to hide the fact that you’re blatantly trying to suppress the voting rights of some people to keep power. That’s some bullshit right there.
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Finally, I give you Mike Huckabee. Blaming the tragic shooting in Newtown, CT, on the removal of God from public schools. It just gets under my skin when people use tragedy to shove religion down people’s thoughts. Bible passages in schools? Nope. Remember government can’t raise one religion over another. The easiest way to do that is not to raise any religion in public school unless they it is studied in an academic way, not a dogmatic one.
