It’s a 24-hour world now and the weirdness of our home third stone from the sun grows as freely. That’s right, it’s time for some more Weird Sex News!

If you think you’ve ever had sex loud enough to wake the dead then aren’t you the lucky one? For 26-year-old Dominique Smith from Columbus, Georgia, he didn’t have that bridge to cross; his would-be beau was already dead.

Smith was apprehended by cops after being caught with a bicycle he had stolen from Hill Watson Peoples Funeral Service in the town. During the course of their investigation, they uncovered grisly evidence that linked Smith with the sexual tampering of female corpse at the same time.

Smith pleaded guilty to all charges. Reassuringly, police Captain Gordon Griswould told reporters such crimes are ‘extremely rare’ on his turf. If you’re ever in Columbus and somebody remarks how “dead it is tonight”… run!

We all remember our college days. Youth, booze, carnal desires and… plenty of oil. Or maybe that’s just students enrolled at University College London, who protested against their educational overlords and their investment in the fossil fuel biz.

Deciding the theme should rail against what they deemed an incestuous relationship between the big oil and gas playaz, the students coated themselves in what would be oil and decided to act provocatively and have what was essentially a play-orgy. You’ll notice the authorities weren’t quick off the mark in putting an end to this particular protest. Funny that.

If you’re the type of person who has erectile dysfunction and enjoys the thrill of being bitten and poisoned by spiders, then you’re in luck!

‘Scientists’, that vague collective that only we in the media know about, have deduced that the poison of the Brazilian wandering spider could be just the ticket for those looking to erect a temple in Anansi’s honor.

After a little nip from our fanged South American buddy, side-effects include more than simply a rock-hard constitution for a variable length of time.

There is the slight problem of a 0.14% chance of death but they’re pretty good odds, right? Not that we would suggest going out and doing this of course! Some people have used a bumblebee’s sting to achieve a monumental hard-on, now we’re looking at spiders as the Big New Thing. Can’t we get a nicer animal involved: rub it on a rabbit’s neck maybe?

That explains the petting zoo ban anyway… come back soon for your regular batch of the weirdest sex news around!