Today a bunch of new friends and I were discussing pop culture when the subject of Miley Cyrus came up. I was a little surprised that the women in the group were giving her so much slack for her current lifestyle choices.

They called her “promiscuous”, which is a rather inaccurate word seeing that we don’t really know if Miley does sleep around, and even if she did, how is it any of our business? Upon some digging on my part, they clarified that, “sure she might not be promiscuous but she’s acting like it!” Which confused me even more. What in the word is acting promiscuous?

Miley Cyrus burst into my consciousness after her famous 2013 MTV Awards performance with Robin Thicke, in which she wore a nude-coloured two-piece outfit, stuck out her tongue a lot and did something resembling twerking on stage. All of United States of America went bat shit crazy. Open letters to her were being written like it was going out of style.

Then she went and upped the ante by releasing a music video where she rode a wrecking ball butt nekkid. Was it weird that my first reaction to that video was, “Oooh, I hope they cleaned that ball up good! Can’t imagine what kinds of infections she could catch from that!” Come on! I bet that thought crossed your mind too!

Anyway, a little while later I stopped paying attention to Ms Cyrus because, meh! I didn’t listen to her music, so what was the use of following her lifestyle. However, coming from a world immersed in sex, what she was doing didn’t seem very ‘wild’ or ‘promiscuous’ to me. I don’t know what her real intentions were, but it looked a lot like a young girl experimenting. And how can you fault a person that?

Even if it were her label ‘abusing her sexuality’ that doesn’t make her promiscuous, or a slut, or loose, or anything else. It really pains me when women put down other women’s sexuality. If your personal sexuality line is drawn close to home, and someone else’s isn’t, that doesn’t make it ok for you to put that person down.

I very much believe that in all the strides that we have made to have a place in the world as women, we must also include the right to explore and have ownership over our own bodies. To do as we see fit, and as we damn well please, without having other women put us down because they are uncomfortable.

I couldn’t get to the bottom of the whole Miley Cyrus business with these new friends because I didn’t want to look like I was trying to shame any of the women by bringing out my, “Hey girls, don’t put down other girls” card. But I was (and still am) curious as to why this whole Miley Cyrus thing rubs people the wrong way so much. What is it about her overt sexuality that is making people throw such rude words in her direction? What does it say about our society that a young girl acting this way can turn even the most level headed person into a hate monster?

Sure I thought that wrecking ball video was a bit weird, cuz yeah, I get it, the song is called Wrecking Ball and you’re on one, but why are you naked? But so what? If she wants to be naked then she should go right ahead and be naked. What do you think?

Coleen Singer is a writer, photographer, film editor and all-around geeky gal at Sssh.com, where she often waxes eloquent about sex, porn, sex toys, censorship, the literary and pandering evils of Fifty Shades of Grey and other topics not likely to be found on the Pulitzer Prize shortlist. She is also the editor and curator of EroticScribes.com. When she is not doing all of the above, Singer is an amateur stock-car racer and enjoys modifying vintage 1970s cars for the racetrack. Oh, she also likes porn.