Some movies just sound bad before you even know what they’re about. For one or another reason, some idiot sometimes has the final word when picking a terrible movie title. This is a list of film titles that make you wonder if the naysayers at the studios couldn’t have been more vocal about it at the time.

The Goods: Live Hard. Sell Hard. (2009)

Something tells me the person who thought of this title was very hard when it came to his mind. And just like that guy’s boner, this movie is probably best left unwatched.

Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977)

Alright, so people die in the bed, but how? Ah, I see, nevermind…

F.A.R.T: The Movie (1991)

Good thing they specified it. This could have lead us to confuse it with the much classier productions F.A.R.T: The Musical, F.A.R.T: The Kabuki Adaptation, or the classic original novel F.A.R.T.

xXx (2002)

Google was very much a part of society in 2002. Seriously, no studio head thought that could lead to some search engine confusion?

To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar (1995)

The name actually comes from a cool reference, but not all references were made to be movie titles.

Live Free Or Die Hard (2007)

So that’s why John McClane was willing to die hard: Freedom. I understand now. It’s good to have a second option. For instance, you can choose not to watch a terrible sequel, or you could do it; it’s up to you. I’m embracing the movie’s spirit.

Can Hieronymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe And Find True Happiness? (1969)

“Yes, but what are we trying to answer with this movie?” someone might ask before reading this untitled script. Anthony Newly probably thought he’d make it easier by clearly establishing the premise in… um, the title, I guess.

I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)

It’s kinda hard to be as scary as you want the second time around, especially if you need to insist.

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed-Up Zombies (1963)

Some movies requite a little bit of explanation; it rarely occurs during the title, and even more rarely in such an unnecessary way. But hey, you would also feel mixed-up if, as an incredible strange creature, you’d suddenly stop living and became a zombie.

2 Fast, 2 Furious (2003)

A lot of the most annoying things of the modern world are in this movie and its title. The unnecessary abbreviations, the douchey characters, and the overwhelming need they had to compensate for tiny penises.

One Comment

  1. GiGli didn’t do so well in America because none of us ignorant Americans know how to pronounce that.

    I love the film “Jeepers Creepers”, but God damn that is a stupid name.