So the new Spiderman is out and against my better judgment I went to watch it. What can I say, I’m a sucker for comic-turned-movie fare – no matter how bad the adaptation may be. I have to say though, I much prefer Andrew Garfield’s version of the webbed crawler to Tobey MaGuire’s. I always felt MaGuire was a much too serious Spidey, when his comic book character was lighthearted and witty.

Ah well. We’re not here to talk about Spiderman. We’re here because of Spiderman, but not to talk about it. After watching this film it brought to my attention just how much movies get wrong about real life. I last did an article about how Hollywood seems to think all hackers are magical beings, and this time around I talk about how Hollywood seems to have a world-view of a six year old. Here are 5 things movies get wrong about real life:

Heroes and villains seem to have the emotional intelligence of a spoilt brat:

I’m surprised these people aren’t on My Super Sweet 16 or something considering the size of the tantrums they throw because they don’t get their way (usually involving revenge, destroying cities, and/or ruling something or the other). I mean, their sense of logic, rational, or anything that a normal person uses to navigate everyday life seems to be missing completely.

American Airports seem to let just anyone in for the sake of love

Uhm… have you ever been to an American airport? It’s probably the most annoying, uneasy, unnecessary experience that could possibly turn you against flying anywhere ever. Yet, love-struck people seem to breeze through the airport, bypassing all security at whim. I never understand why these people are constantly running to the airport anyway. We have mobile phones now. A simple call would suffice. Or even if you do miss the person, you can always text, Facebook, call, Skype, tweet, WhatsApp, kik, Instagram and of course email them later when they arrive. In fact there is no possible way you can’t get in touch with this person unless he/she is planning to move to Antarctica and even then I’m pretty sure they have basic Internet there.

You’ll lose your company if enough people ‘kick you out’

Obviously no writer ever seems to know how business works. If you own shares in your company and you are also the CEO, it doesn’t matter if the board of directors deem you an unfit CEO, you don’t lose your company. You just lose your job. Because you still own your shares. Why you gotta spread this kinda misinformation, movies, huh?

Any court case ever

Lawyerin’ in the movies seems to be a short sweet affair, unlike the real deal in real life that can sometimes take years to sort out. Oh, something bad happened? Don’t worry, just see a lawyer and you’ll get to see the judge in a few hours and the whole case will be solved in a matter of days. Yay!

No one ever says ‘Bye’ when they hang up

Talk about bad manners! I tried this once (and included a few seconds of staring off into space after I deemed the conversation had ended, just to ‘process’ the information I had heard) and my mum pretty much yelled, “HELLO!!! Are you still THERE??!” and after I awkwardly replied that I was, yelled at me some more for not saying goodbye. Because that’s how you know that the conversation has ended. Because no one can see you. This is so frustrating when it happens!

There are loads more that movies get wrong, what do you notice?

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