Dirty Talk From Yesteryear

In case you were under the impression that the good ol’ folks from yesteryear weren’t really into sex like us folks are, then let me set you straight. It’s nice to think that we invented sex, but the cold, hard, truth is that human being have been fucking since… well, how long has homo sapiens existed? Yeah, that long. No fucking, no babies. No babies, no more humans.

We all know this to a certain extent – especially since we don’t ever want to think of our parents doing it (or maybe you do, who knows?) – but it never really hits home. We think that sex in the past was all roses and pure and shit. But the reality of it, kinks didn’t just happen in this era and everything wasn’t vanilla either. People were getting down and dirty and getting a good dose of guilt to go with all that horniness I’m sure!

Dirty Talk From Yesteryear
Capacious Capsulation Parlors

Behold, an old timey menu of sexual favors from the “Capacious Capsulation Parlors” of a Mrs. F.A. Tasse. It’s been going around the web that this is a menu from a 1912 London Brothel, but while the language might be all Londoney (that’s a word, right?), the fact that they’re using the US Dollar sign instead of the Pound Sterling – and that they use the word ‘ass’ instead of the English “arse” – points as a giveaway that this isn’t English (though I’m pretty sure the English were just as naughty).

A quick (and deep) Google search shows that this document is actually from New Orleans and while we can’t verify if this document is real or fake, we can most definitely perv at the most decadent of menus.

Turns out men from yesteryear were every bit as pervy – perhaps even more so – than most men I know! A little bit of Blowing in the ass hole, new style for 1.70? Why yes! Thank you very much, I’ll take two! In fact, add a Squatting on prick and finish me off with a Dry bob (whatever that is).

The Pinkey Special should be in every man’s toolbox, I say. I mean I’m up for anything involving a goose quill. And like it says in the text, “If you’re not a self starter, stay at home and jack yourself off.” Someone should put that on a bumper!

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