German Website is Looking for Brothel Reviewers

A couple of years ago, I met a guy who was a restaurant reviewer. This was his job — getting paid to go to good restaurants where they’d give him special treatment and a free delicious meal in hopes of a good review. If you’re a hedonist of any level, it doesn’t get any better than that.

Or does it?

If you consider a move to Germany and can meet some basic requirements, this could very well trump that foodie dream out of your mind.

The Berlin-based website is a social network for sex workers, clients, brothels and adult companies, and they are looking to employ someone who can go to brothels and give a thorough and accurate assessment of each establishment’s service.

The 100% serious ad is on their website (in German). The conditions are completely safe, as prostitution has been legal in Germany for a whole decade — although not without its detractors.

As their go-to guy, you’d be expected to “test brothels for service, cleanliness and compliance with safe sex practices.” You know, just evaluate all of what the brothel has to offer — sexual or otherwise. It’s your job to have sex with an assortment of women and give your unbiased analysis of everything that takes place. You’ll also be required to attend events like bukkake parties and gang bangs, so being (very) comfortable around groups of people should be part of the gig.

But before you fill that application and buy your one-way ticket to this utopian dream you hope to never wake up from, you should probably see if you meet some of the requirements. Aside from a much-needed sexual openness, clean tests and some responsible hygiene, you must be fluent in German (spoken and written) — though they consider additional languages an advantage. You also need a business-related university degree (they prefer something in the hotel industry). And, well, a lot of practical experience from years of visiting brothels is also a big plus — and this is most likely the only job in the world where suggesting that in the interview will score you some points.

The applications are due by the end of March, so if you meet the qualifications and are feeling empowered, don’t hesitate.

It’s exciting to see this happen somewhere. I’d like to dream of a day when we here at BaDoink can also do similar experiments — unfortunately, I haven’t been able to find a good way to justify the extra “expenses” that come with this particular experience.

In the meantime, we’ll always have Berlin…

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