Henry Deltoid's Beer Review: Samuel Adams Merry Maker

‘Tis the season to get sloshed, my friends! You don’t have to wait until Christmas to start drinking, you know. And when you do you might want to pick up a bottle of Sam Adams “Merry Maker’” before the shelves run dry!

*Coal in your stocking*: While Merry Maker is a good beer, I don’t care for it enough to want to purchase more, to be honest. But you might! Read on…

If you ask any huge fan of the craft and microbrew beer movement here in the USA, “Where did this all start?” you are guaranteed to hear the name “Sam Adams” (The Boston Beer Company) and its co-founder, Jim Koch. Koch is a 6th generation brewer, and with his genetic code as a born brewer, decided to give America a “better beer” than the typical assembly line chilled goat urine commonly found in bottles of Coors, Miller or Budweiser. So, in 1984 he became the Larry Flynt of the beer industry. As a testament to the power of this industry and his part in it, in September of last year Koch was listed as a billionaire (I think for the first time in his life), and he is also the first (and only I believe) billionaire craft brewer. So what does he have in store for us with this spicy, fermented liquid Christmas treat?

Merry Maker is a dark chocolate brown, almost black, and is 100% solid in color. Superman couldn’t see through this brew if he was wearing contacts. It has a very goopy pour. It does indeed smell like ginger bread cookies. It also contains brown sugar, a slight spicy burn to the sinuses, and chocolate. It isn’t a very strongly scented brew, unfortunately. But get your nose up close to it as if it’s a vagina right out of a bubble bath and breathe in the wonderful aroma.

Hopefully that vagina is attached to a living woman, by the way.

The head on this brew is excellent. It’s dark tan, and even has a hint of baked gingerbread in its color. The head is thick and creamy with a bouquet of large bubbles sitting on top, which pop rather quickly to let a smooth, creamy coating nestle on top of the beer like a snow drift. And the head lasts for quite a while, too. Christmas bonus!

The flavor has all the profiles of a good stout as well as the sugary, spicy gingerbread cookie. Upfront it displays ginger bread, cinnamon, and pepper. Then it changes to malt, tobacco, and bitter chocolate, like a regular stout but with a toasted gingerbread flavor maintaining a presence. The aftertaste is a fairly bitter cocoa, and contains a metallic flavor and sugar. The gingerbread flavor makes a subtle return to find out if your tongue is being naughty or nice. On the far back end of the aftertaste is actually the flavor of a peaty Scotch. It has a creamy, milky, rather thick texture. Lacing offers a stout-standard, pretty, sandy film that leaves random small globs.

Overall this beer is good on the front and finish ends of the tasting. The alcohol content is a nice touch and isn’t noticeable in the slightest, at first. It will knock on your door when you’re about 50% finished with a bomber. On the last 6 ounces of this bomber I had to resort to sipping. The gingerbread does not taste artificial as if it was flavored it with lab-made syrup that will cause cancer and make your kid born with a third arm, but the aftertaste has a dull bitterness and a metallic flavor that is a little too intense. And it has a lingering gingerbread flavor that overstays its welcome. That’s my complaint about this beer. However, gingerbread is a nice complement to a stout (unlike the Coffee IIPA by Mikkeller). Need to give Sam Adams props. Never did that. Craft Beer FATHER. Unfortunately seems to have trouble coming up with an awesome craft beer to define it, which is kind of sad because they started the industry. It’s weird they can’t come up with a masterpiece like Three Floyds, Russian River, Bells, Deschutes, Uinta, Founders, Dogfish Head, Cigar City, North Coast, Ommegang, Allagash, Oskar Blues, or any of the age-old veterans from Germany or Belgium. However their standard seasonals and year-round beers should always be a stock item in your beer repertoire. They need to be respected and supported for being large, but still not owned by the 3-tier system cocksuckers.

Henry Deltoid's Beer Review: Samuel Adams Merry Maker

Jingle, jingle, jingle,

My beer boner starts to tingle!

I’d like to ask Chris Cringle,

To bring some fucking BEER!

Put it in my stocking,

Next to my vibrating cock-ring!

I’ll get shitfaced and I’ll sing,

And bring holiday cheer!

The Boston Beer Company (Samuel Adams) “Merry Maker”

Milk/Sweet Stout with spices

9.0% ABV

IBU: 25

Style (as a gingerbread stout): 9/10

Style (as a stout): 7.5/10

Overall: 7.5/10

The Deltoid has spoken.

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