Above: Nudie Jeans repair shop in Soho, from www.nudiejeans.com

Heard of Swedish brand Nudie Jeans when it comes to denim? Or perhaps been greeted by the pong of a sweaty man as he sticks to their 6 month no wash, break-in policy?

Ask anyone to list their wardrobe staples and a good pair of jeans will always grace the top of the list. Denim products have really shown their worth since their humble days down the coalmines. Hot sauce on your fingers? Wipe ‘em on your jeans. Got a boner at an inappropriate time? Your denim buddies will hide that shit. Nothing clean to wear? JEANS ARE ALWAYS CLEAN! Except when they aren’t…

Everyone loves a good pair of reliable jeans. I even had a couch once that was referred to by all housemates as the “denim bandit” because it was covered in a “groovy” jean print and had the most amazing ability to remove girl’s jeans when they stayed over. Go denim bandit, go!

Given my financial state it means that I’m a bit out of the loop when it comes to quality denim brands and have only recently become acquainted with the good dudes at Nudie who promote the repair, reuse and recycle mentality.

Yeah ok, so a pair of their jeans may set you back a few hundred bucks but they make them to last and aren’t encouraging you to simply purchase a new pair when you’ve done one too many power-slides on the D-floor and popped a seam in the crotch. There are repair shops popping up all over the globe for those of you who’ve forgotten how you earned that sewing badge back in boy scouts.

On the Nudie website they even have a How To Break In guide and if that’s too much text for you, a pictorial flowchart to determine whether it’s finally time to wash them or not.

Even those of us living in 4x4m “apartments” should have access to at least one window which is the perfect place for your jeans to soak up some of those magical sun rays, and hopefully say goodbye to a few of the farts you’ve let go in your own denim bandits.

Now I may be lacking a key ingredient when it comes truly enjoying these jeans – a penis to pop inside of their button fly – but I like the cut of their jib and perhaps one day they’ll branch out to females specifically. If not, c’est la vie, I’ll be happy just to look at your denim-covered butts in them.