Some time ago a friend had recommended a book to me called Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow by Marnia Robinson which I read a little bit but hadn’t had the time to finish, until now. In case you think this book is about murdering a loved one, let me explain. Robinson’s book talks about Karezza – a method of enjoying sexual intercourse without orgasms.

Now wait up, stop right there! No orgasm? Why even bother to have sex at all? That’s what I said when I heard of this. Well, because apparently practitioners of this method claim that it improves their sex lives. Now, that’s worth checking out.

Kerazza is inspired by the Indian tantric techniques, especially those that control the orgasm response. Alice Bunker Stockham, an American Doctor specializing in obstetrics and gynecology came up with the term when she incorporated the tantric techniques in a way that didn’t clash with her Quaker-Christian beliefs.

According to Robinson, the theory here is that from a biological perspective once you have an orgasm, the body assumes that you have fertilized the woman and then wants to move on to fertilize another. She says that this is why sometimes within hours, days, weeks, or months you stop being attracted to your partner/lover and want something new and exciting.

The frequent orgasms that happen in the initial stages of a relationship can lead to losing sexual interest (or what some feel as waning romantic interest, or ‘spark’) later on in the relationship. This is because all the orgasms are signaling to the body that, “We’ve fertilized, now move on!”

So before you start using this as a reason as to why you need to be out in the world ‘spreading your seed’, let me be clear that Robinson is not using this as an excuse for men and women to fuck around like bunnies because, well, nature. Instead, this is why she’s advocating no-orgasm intercourse.

Not only does it act as a natural birth control, it takes away or minimizes a lot of the performance anxiety one experiences when there is no orgasm to achieve. Practitioners of the method say that they’re able to stay in the moment and connect more deeply with their partners, thus increasing intimacy. Women claim that their relationships become more harmonious while men report to feel more attracted to their partners.

Robinson herself says that her relationship with her husband has improved, she says, “We looked cuter — at least to each other. We stopped bickering over nonsense. We both felt sexually satisfied, with no sexual performance issues. We lost our need for “space.” Arguments about “not doing enough” or “not giving enough” stopped. Communication struggles evaporated. We wanted to be together even after our honeymoon neurochemistry wore off.”

While I might still not be fully convinced, because hey, I love to orgasm, it certainly seems to be worth a try, especially if it means more harmony and attraction in relationships. What can it hurt to try right? If you do, let me know how it goes in the comments!