Every year all kinds of sexy calendars adorn walls all over the world. Some are stylish; some are arty; some are raunchy; some are simply fucking hot. But there’s a few weird enough to make us scratch our heads — if not other body parts. These are 5 of them for you to look at throughout 2015…
Already an Internet sensation, based on combining the two most desirable visual elements known to mankind: hot girls in suggestively sexual poses and… carp?
It was released by Carponizer, a German company that manufactures high-end equipment for fishing carp, which already sounds insanely specific, when you consider they’re dedicating their whole market to one kind of fish, but whatever.
Beautiful girls pose with ugly giant fish in a niche that even we here at BaDoink feel might be hard to find a real audience for.
To their credit, there was no other way any of us would have even heard of Carponizer, so good move, guys!
Protesting a government shutdown that included the suspension of the National Zoo’s pandacam, a group of artists decided to take a DIY route and livestream themselves blogging while dressed as pandas.
Whether that makes sense to you or not, this was the clear next step. 12 good quality, colorful and bizarre pictures of unquestionably weird women and men posing with panda paraphernalia. Not for minimalists, though.
Did you ever get in a cab in New York City and thought, “Man, I wish I could stare at this smelly hairy man for a whole month?”
Listen, we won’t judge you here. Perhaps it’s the accent that did it for you. Maybe it’s his unwillingness to drive to Brooklyn that makes you want to win his approval. We’re not here to determine why you get this, just letting you know it exists.
Jokes aside, though, the pictures are awesome.
Designed for those who are tired of the thrill, passion and excitement of attractive people, the Nice Jewish Guys calendar has been available for five straight years now, to all of those resigned to find something safe in order to not die alone.
While we can’t guarantee that these guys are nice — let’s face it, a good percentage of them probably went to law school — the non-threatening vibe is appreciated by some, I’m sure.
Even if you think like George Constanza and can rationalize the word by deconstructing it, manure is still shit.
Brilliantly sold with the tagline “A pictorial calendar that will get you to rethink all your waste, even your daily #1s and 2s,” the makers of this calendar found 12 eco-conscious hot girls to pose covered in feces in order to make us consider what most of us call “waste.” They even started a Kickstarter to fund it. It actually looks really good, and the best thing is that you can’t even smell it.
Ironically, the Carp calendar is the German one, not this one.