To tell or not to tell. Double standards. He is a macho lover, every night with a different lady. He’s a man, that’s normal. She is a sexually free woman. She has a different lover every night. She must be easy and a slut. Is it really anybody’s business how many lovers we have had? What number of partners should be considered normal?

Talking about it openly is still a taboo. Other people’s opinions and judgment. How dare they? I’m not ashamed to say out loud I have had many lovers. And to say out loud you have had none or only one. Losing your virginity maybe in your thirties, saving yourself for Mr. Right. Always an option. Not everybody will understand and respect it. A social stigma. Shhh. But some things I would rather not tell.

the meat of a relationship

My high school photos will haunt me forever. I was an ugly duck, fat, overlooked and teased. I don’t go around explaining to people that I used to be overweight. It is something I am ashamed of and want to leave behind. My body. I have been with it for years but still haven’t got used to all the parts Mother Nature gave me. I knew what I wanted to see when I looked at myself in the mirror as a teenager… And it wasn’t my Dumbo ears.

Plastic surgery is a great invention. I feel more confident now. And the best part is nobody knows. You can’t tell when you whisper into my ear “I love you!” These words we all need to hear sometimes. And it’s always the right moment for them. Unlike other words. Is there ever the right time to bring up the subject of cheating? If you have a hard time being faithful, spreading the word around is not a way to go. Not all publicity is good publicity. And according to my experiences honesty isn’t the best policy either, at least not always.

People open up with time. Sometimes they have more to say than we are ready to hear. Any kind of abuse leads to damage and no strength to survive. Sharing the pain with your significant other will make your partner understand you better. They will show you and tell you how unique and wonderful you are, worthy of true love. Words can also heal. On occasions professional help is necessary. Not something you would tell a macho man because according to him only weird, crazy people go to therapy. And a biggie: you have served time. You don’t want to break the ice starting a conversation about mates you’ve met in jail. It might sound kind of hot at first but once you explain the details the story and your evening might be ruined. Skeletons in the closet.

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