There’s been some attention given lately to the research, valid or not, on the subject of Smartphone use during our most intimate of times. As is the case with so much market research, the interrogative terms used are as broad as something you’d read in your daily horoscope. ¨Scorpios will enjoy breathing oxygen today.”

Simply search for the keywords ¨Smartphone during sex¨ and you will be bombarded with studies, statistics and of course, porn sites – but isn´t that the case no matter what you are searching for on our beloved world wide web? I recall at the tender age of 14, investigating a friends infected lip piercing and a million pop-up visuals of the wrong kind of ¨pus¨ lips. But I digress.

a smart hand job

You don’t need to read the studies to know that most people of mature age will agree with the sentiments – sex is one time that you should be way too involved in what´s happening to your private parts to be even thinking about your score on Farmville, let alone buying a new mule or whatever it is you do in that game.

The only thing that should be set to vibrate in a 5-metre radius of your bed is, (in some cases) long, (in most cases) colorful and (in all cases) wonderful… Feel free to imagine a distant twinkling in my eye whilst saying this as if fondly recalling the memory of a loved one.

Of one particular study conducted by it was found that ¨One in ten participants said they used their phone during sex¨. Across the pond in The States the guys at Jumio also conducted a study, finding that 9% of Americans surveyed admit to reaching for their smartphones during sex.

I dare say that of these horny multi-taskers a fair chunk of them were referring to the camera function and not actually handling international business calls.

How much truth there is to the findings is irrelevant. The fact that this study has been done at all is a pretty sad reminder on how reliant we are on our phones to keep us connected and entertained at all times, allowing life’s greatest pleasures to simply become just another task. On even the shortest public transport commute you will notice almost everyone is connected to their electronic umbilical cord or perhaps swiping at the screen to re-read the messages they only skimmed through during the previous nights romp.

My sentiments go something along the lines of: unless the electronic device is directly involved, put it away. And this opinion is coming from someone who has unfortunately been on the receiving end of some particularly bad bedside manners. Perhaps the one to beat so far is a non-significant other checking his online dating account whilst our breathing hadn’t even slowed to a normal rate yet, let alone my absence from his bed. That’s right, folks, Casanova reincarnated could be on an online dating site near you.

Or at the end of the day is making mention of two of our favorite things, Smartphones and sex, just a thinly veiled front to increase traffic to the survey conductor’s site? What exactly does sexual etiquette have to do with coupons anyway? Just imagine the numbers had they thrown the word ¨bacon¨ in there too…

One Comment

  1. Necessary for maintaining long-distance relationships!