As I stood by the bedroom’s door, a familiar face was having an unfamiliar experience. Naked, candid and playful, two beautiful girls kissed softly after admiring each other’s tattoos. Another two girls had cameras and were documenting the moment. I had stopped taking notes and simply started recording video on my phone, but I wasn’t looking at the screen all that much, to be honest; I wanted to fully be there. I peeked out from the balcony, where a surprisingly generous breeze came in and cooled off an otherwise hot summer day in Barcelona. I took a deep breath and sighed quietly, absorbing the fact that I was there. Because this is me now; the only guy on an all-girl porn set. It didn’t feel weird, uncomfortable or frustrating. This is me, after many whiny years finally thinking, “I fucking like my job, man.”
I arrived on set at 9 a.m., which you’d think feels a bit early for an adult movie, but I quickly learned there’s no such thing as “too early” for porn. It was at a nice, spacious apartment in the Gracia neighborhood of Barcelona, rented for the day. The girls were all there; Lucie Blush and camerawomen Sole and Francesca were figuring out the technical stuff. Molly Dae, an Australian porn star we’ve gotten to know here at Badoink, was showering and getting ready for the shoot.
It had been a couple of months since I met feminist porn filmmaker Lucie Blush, for an interview and behind the scenes piece about her previous film. We’ve become good friends since and have developed a porn bond that makes everything a little more fun.
Lucie has made a few films by now. So what makes Naked, her latest one, so special? For the first time, she’s not only directing, but actually performing in front of the camera. It was a big day for initiations, since it was also her first time having sex with a girl.
She was not the only one with a new role. Unlike during the filming of Don’t Touch Me, I wasn’t just a fly on the wall. She asked me to serve as an interviewer for a sort of “confessional” part of the film. A few questions were given to me to ask, along with whatever else I could come up with that I might be curious about. “Just try not to talk during the sex,” she warned me with a smile. Luckily for all of us, I learned that lesson early on.
In the final edit we don’t hear most of the questions being asked, just the answers in a more conversational way. The idea was to get them talking about how they felt before and after this experience.
Lucie wasn’t always so comfortable with the idea of acting in a movie. “We were in touch, but when I actually sent (Molly) the email explaining the idea for this film, I went to bed and was like ‘Oh my God, what the fuck did you do? Are you really going to do this?’ I was a bit upset that night,” Lucie told our cameras, “Then, in the morning, I kept thinking about it and it kept turning me on.
“I’ve met Molly and we like each other, we get along, but obviously we’ve never had sex with each other before, so it’s going to be discovering and exploring while people are watching.”
When the cameras were off, we went inside the apartment and I asked her how she was feeling. With a shy smile on her face and cheeks that honored her last name, she just confessed quietly: “I’m getting nervous. This is really happening!”
We don’t usually get to experience this softer side of porn; the nervousness and empathy that being so naked — physically and emotionally — offers. They say every film director should also act to understand performers better and have a better grasp of what to ask for. This is no different.
The coolest thing for me about being more of an insider this time — you know, instead of a creepy shadow lurking in the background — is that I get a more uncensored look into it. Not necessarily about the sex, but about a more intimate perspective on how this feels for a person who decided to be a visual part of her own project.
This is the first time Lucie does a more documentary-styled movie. All of her previous videos had been story-driven. There’s always been a plot and characters, even if there’s very little dialogue — if any. But what she wanted to do with this one was to show herself and her first time without any kind of masks. I look at the movie title, Naked, as being essentially that; a way for her to completely surrender, let go, and truly be a part of what she’s working so passionately for.
Before any actual sex, they started kissing slowly while standing on the apartment’s terrace. They looked beautiful under the Barcelona sunlight. Both camerawomen and me just kept looking at them with wishful eyes and an overwhelming desire to participate.
While still having to direct, a visibly nervous Lucie asked me if it looked awkward at times. The fact that a person would ask that question usually means it does; but in this case, a little bit of awkwardness actually heightens the hot, first time exploration aspect of it.
“It’s awkward but sweet,” I told Lucie. She smiled and replied, “That’s like me!”
I couldn’t agree more.
It was time to take things inside, and the atmosphere — although very tempting — was simply fun and playful. It’s quite interesting to see someone’s fascination as they discover a new side of their sexuality they didn’t know about. “It’s like masturbating with the body of someone else!” Lucie said with endearing joy.
She had several moments like these. Lines like: “Where does the penis go? There’s not enough space here!” had us all laughing throughout the shoot. Sex is supposed to be fun, and there are a lot of not-so-suave moments that happen often during sex that are not reflected in porn. This felt right on many levels.
Directing was a harder task this time, now that Lucie couldn’t see the shots and because, well, she was a little distracted with all the sex! But while a lot of the sex in the film was spontaneous, Lucie had a very clear idea of the shots and positions she wanted to try before filming. This was especially clear when it was time for her to go down on Molly for the first time and asked her to get on all fours. “A human centipede!” she added before slowly approaching Molly’s pussy from behind.
The sex was very connected, yet laid back. They seemed to enjoy the experience a lot; it felt like a friendly hang, honestly. The vibe around the room was super comfortable, both emotionally and physically, even for me! On the previous movie, after having to move around often to not be seen on the shot and not being able to watch much, this one was much easier to just kick back and enjoy.
After sex — and still nude — they sat back on the bed and just discussed the whole experience. Their fantasies, current sex dreams and recent fun sexual moments. The aerial shot of them lying on the bed talking looked amazing. They chatted about their tats; their scars; their bodies.
As Molly went to the bathroom and Sole and Francesca dealt with the footage. Lucie and I shared a complicit look. “So that happened!” she told me with a satisfied attitude.
It sure did!
We cleaned up a bit, and went to get some food. Lucie wanted spaghetti and tomato sauce. She wanted to cook something simple, while also using it as a prop for a sexual sound analogy (you’re going to have to watch the movie to see what I mean). With a nervous look we hadn’t seen in Molly’s eyes yet, she asked us: “We’re not cooking naked, are we?”
You’ve got to have your boundaries.
I asked them a few more questions at the end. While they enjoyed the experience greatly, their allegiances seem to remain with the opposite sex. “I still love a good dick,” said Lucie with nothing but certainty. Molly agreed: “I like to have sex with women now and again, but I couldn’t trade a man for a woman full time. I like to have my full time dick and my part time vagina.”
Having said that, fucking Lucie was a more memorable experience than that would let you know. “It’s been the most fun shoot I’ve done since I came to Europe,” Molly added.
The movie ends with Lucie grabbing the camera and getting a nice wide shot of all of us before fading to black.
There are a lot of preconceptions about doing porn. Many people assume it takes a neglected childhood and troubled life to end up acting in adult films, that the performers are just being exploited, used and thrown away after. But what Lucie and other feminist pornographers are doing is taking it into their own hands. These are her fantasies, her ideas and her specific vision. I know first-hand how much time, love, lust and effort she puts into each movie.
A lot of it feels like an ongoing experience of discovery for Lucie, which I’m very happy to be able to share with her, and it’s only one step into a very driven path that promises to continue bringing new quality sex for quite a while. I can tell you next month’s movie — and subsequent written documentation, and more, by yours truly — will be expanding this restless curiosity to new levels, so stay tuned!
“I want to try everything; and in front of the camera. Let’s do it,” said Lucie, “I want to be like an adventurer. I want it to be really authentic. Life is short, you know?”
We know, Lucie. And we’ll be watching.
