Above: Ron Jeremy at the ‘Celebrity Pornhab with Dr. Screw’ Premiere Party. Les Deux, Hollywood, CA. 06-01-09. Image by s_bukley / Shutterstock.com

Sometimes there are things that you don’t want to see. Sometimes there are things that you don’t want to see, but you can’t turn away from. Sometimes you see something and spend the rest of your life wishing you could unsee it. This may be one of the times.

My friend told me there was a Ron Jeremy parody of Miley Cyrus’s “Wrecking Ball” video. My friend’s review was “Yaaaaaaaaassss gurl.” He demanded I watch it several times.

What the fuck is going on with his belly button? I can’t believe I just said I want to know what’s going on with Ron Jeremy’s belly button. I don’t think I do. Regardless, I’m getting ahead of myself here.

The video is shot-for-shot, which I always appreciate in music video parodies. He can’t sing, but somehow that’s not surprising. He’s called The Hedgehog for a reason; he’s fat and hairy and looks like a giant rodent and he always has. Now, at 60-years-old, he’s still fat and hairy and giant rodent looking. Anyone who has ever seen Ron Jeremy in a porno knows the deal. He gives new meaning to the phrase what-you-see-is-what-you-get. It’s curious though, as to why he’s wearing flesh-colored trunks in Wrecking Balls’ buck-naked scenes. Did something happen to his monster cock? (That is also something that I don’t really want to know, but it’s a good question.)

The outrageousness, I can appreciate. In fact, I think is sort of brilliant. Still, I don’t really want to see Ron Jeremy doing anything anymore, ever. Most people want to unsee the video, but my aforementioned friend who gave it two thumbs up, watched it on the big projection screen in his living room. When I asked for fuck’s sake, why, he replied, “so we NEVER forget.”

And here you all go… so you never forget EITHER!