All relationships have their ups and downs. I never trust people who say they never fight in their relationship. I’m not saying that relationships need to have shouting matches. But come on, you’re two people, with two different views, how can there not be a disagreement of some sort? Anyway, my point before I got sidetracked is that, there is always room for improvement in every relationship even if you are in a good space.

Here are 5 proven ways to improve your relationship:

Dream together
Couples who have goals for the future have something to work towards. If you both have goals that put you in different situations in the future, then the question is what happens to your relationship when you get there? Take some time to talk over your philosophies and dream up a future together. You don’t have to have it all mapped out right down to the name of your children, but knowing that you are both working towards a similar goal is a great help.

Accept each other
There will come a time that you will realize that there is nothing you can do to get him to pick up his socks from the floor. Or that he will continue farting no matter how much you threaten to kick him out of the bedroom or that she will still buy another pair of shoes even though she promised not to. It’s time to just let these things slide and accept the person you’re in love with as is. I’m not saying accept bad behavior, abuse or cheating. I’m saying that accept the person with all their quirks. They should be able to be comfortable enough with you to act like they would if they were alone and no one is looking, and not have to hide themselves, or get into fights.

Understand where you’re coming from
Most of the time, what you’re angry at is never what you’re angry at. There is always a deeper meaning. It helps to know where your anger is coming from. If you’re fighting because she came home late again from work, is it really because you think she’s a workaholic who needs to prioritize or is it because you are feeling left out and isolated? Could this be solved if she spent more time with you doing quality things? Not only does this allow you to dig deep and find out where your true emotions are coming from it can also help you understand each other. I know it puts you in a really vulnerable place, but isn’t it worth it?

Gratitude and Appreciation
This might sound cheesy but you need to appreciate the shit out of one another. I mean it. Just because you’re now in a relationship and you know her cycle by heart and she knows all the different ways you fart doesn’t mean that she/he still isn’t the wonderful person you fell in love with. Showing gratitude for the effort they put into something or just giving out compliments will allow you to still feel special to one another.

Become better friends
Being friends means that you develop deeper connections with your partner and form a more secure relationship. It doesn’t mean that all your issues will magically disappear but you will be working off a more solid base. Hang out with each other doing things that you like, like you would a friend. Get up to date with each other’s likes, dislikes and more!

Whether you’re on solid ground or feeling a little out of touch lately, hope these tips help to improve your relationship. Let me know in the comments if you have other tips!