#AskELJames: What Could Have Possibly Gone Wrong?!

This just in from the file marked People Never Learn…

Has there ever been a Twitter Q&A that has gone smoothly? Twitter can be enough of a cut-throat death pit where you have to wade knee deep in sarcastic and malicious maniacs without then quite literally inviting them to focus their beams on you and let rip with volleys of red-hot venom. And despite her kajillions of book sales and ill-gotten fortune, 50 Shades of Grey author E.L. James isn’t exactly a revered figure. Millions have taken umbrage to her terrible writing, the fact she totally ripped off Stephanie Meyers’ Twilight series – a set of books already beset by true awfulness – and changed seedy fan fiction into the biggest literary phenomenon since Harry Potter waved his little wand around the place and the moral questions her book inadvertently asks of its readers and others.

So it was with a frightening sense of inevitability that her Twitter Q&A – #AskELJames – went down in flames; Twitter’s equivalent of the Hindenburg disaster (for her anyway). Sure enough, the Twitter freaks and geeks took to destroying James with aplomb. Here’s a selection of the best and funniest tweets from this rather ill-advised PR stunt. Perhaps it’s safe to say that James’ agent is currently tied to a rack somewhere in a dungeon. It’s ok though… they asked for it.

#AskELJames Your Latino character loves margaritas and says "Dios mio!" a lot. As a white lady, was this thoughtful approach challenging?

— Lauren Darling (@MsLuluDarling) June 29, 2015

Would you say no to another Twitter Q&A? And if so, does that mean yes? #AskELJames

— James Martin (@Pundamentalism) June 29, 2015

#AskELJames Is there a safe word which will stop you from writing anymore of this bollocks?

— TittyBiscuits. (@dawneywawney) June 29, 2015

Will you be rewriting the book from Stephenie Meyer's point of view next time? #AskELJames

— Skeptical Dinosaur (@skepticosaurus) June 29, 2015

EL James entering the #AskELJames hashtag. pic.twitter.com/hugpOU0MiH

— Kayleigh Anne (@Ceilidhann) June 29, 2015

#AskELJames Reading your books in public is really embarrassing for me, so I keep them hidden in a Mein Kampf dustjacket.

— Chris Richards (@RocketSuperstar) June 30, 2015

"His eyebrows widened in surprise." #pleaseexplain #50shadesofawkward #AskELJames pic.twitter.com/Zj0dbrfCn2

— Samantha Luiz (@Cosmo_ethnic) June 30, 2015

#AskELJames What's your favourite shade out of the 50? Is there a chance that more shades will be added?

— Jack Howard (@JackHoward) June 29, 2015

#AskELJames if E.L.James asks for these tweets to stop, does that mean she really wants them to continue?

— Johnny Quid. (@Steelnicks) June 30, 2015

Today E. L. James learned the valuable lesson that "A lot of people bought my work" is not the same as "Everyone likes me" #AskELJames

— Dean Burnett (@garwboy) June 29, 2015

#AskELJames you do realize that if Grey wasn't a billionaire, the 50 Shades trilogy would be one hell of a Law & Order episode?

— Belial Bell (@AlwaysAnimated) June 29, 2015