Apparently there is a big hoo-haa in the whole. wide. world. about how women don’t want chivalry. Really. It is true, that women have spoken up about men holding doors open for them, or pulling out their seats, etc. But once again, it seems, that men have missed the point entirely. Men seem to think that we’re speaking out against chivalry. And not against being treated as weak creatures who are unable to take care of ourselves.
Now I’m not trying to take a fighting view on things. It’s not how Lola rolls. However…
Let me tell you straight up, I’ve yet to meet a lady who didn’t appreciate someone helping her carry her bags if they were heavy, offering her a seat on the bus or just plain being helpful if she needed help. That’s being chivalrous.
And I’ve met many women who didn’t appreciate being grinded from behind in a nightclub without asking her if she wanted to dance, taking her bags from her to be ‘helpful’ even though she said she was fine or throwing in a cheesy comment like, “for a beautiful woman, always,” after holding the door open for (only) her but not the other people behind her. That is machismo.
And the difference between the two is how a woman is viewed. In one, she is being viewed as an equal and in the other she is a helpless being in need of the strength, intelligence and obvious right of the man. Being viewed as the latter is what we don’t want. We don’t want machismo but we appreciate chivalry.
So I say, YES women want chivalry but perhaps we need to re-redefine chivalry to its (almost) original definition of helping out anyone in need (instead of protecting those who can’t protect themselves) and not just woman?
When it comes to wooing sure, we love it if you treat us special, but we love it more if you’re doing it because you think we’re one of a kind and you want us to know it, and not just because you want to impress us or think we can’t afford things you can. We love it when you let us speak and know that we too have valuable things to say.
Most of all, we love it when you respect us. And that my dear lads is chivalry. Who wouldn’t want that?
