Oh my god SPOILERS!

For the love of Nathan Fillion’s swashbuckling grin, will there ever be a full week of television for me again? Last week had some good episodes, but two out of the five I care about didn’t air, and that is some popular media hogwash. I was so looking forward to last week, only to be unhappily surprised (I really should do my research beforehand; maybe one day my surprise will be delightful).

Let’s begin, as I usually do, with How I Met Your Mother. I hate to say it, but I really, really liked last week’s episode, Internet friends. It was a lovely return to some of the nasty humor of the first few seasons, with one particular reveal we’ve all been waiting for since folks asked the question, “What does Barney actually do?” But before we get to that, a standing ovation to Marshall’s inner monologue during sex (“Bugs with boobs!”), Robin being filthy rich (I feel we may have gotten clues to this earlier…), and “Truth serum drunk.” The best moment, really, was the answer to Barney’s job question; turns out, it was all a revenge scheme to destroy the man who stole Barney’s first serious girlfriend. So, Barney turned awesome, took a very questionable legal position, and spent years building a case to take down that awful dude. I was very pleased.

New Girl was really lovely, as usual. In keeping with making Nick deal with all of Jess’ crazy quirks, the writers pitted the hapless dude against his lady’s birthday. Poor Nick, indeed. So, of course, Coach and Winston engaged in a battle of who could bake the best cake (manly), Schmidt just hung out with Cece, and Nick was sad all over the place. Also, Jess stole a child’s birthday party and cried a bit. Classic New Girl. What impresses me continually about this show is the fact that Jess and Nick realistically get through whole hosts of relationship problems. They are a great TV couple, and you really root for them, knowing that the writers will probably have to break them up to keep the show fresh (tragic). And we’ll all feel for them when it happens (don’t even pretend you won’t). Yeah, it was a good episode, but made me realize how depressing it’s gonna be when it ends.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. didn’t air, because Joss Whedon likes to tease his audience of obsessive drones (that brilliant bastard).

Community made up for it though, because even as a comedy show, it’s still one of the best action/adventure series, even (or, especially) when being incredibly meta. This episode was one of the best in a long while, actually, as it was the final installment to feature Donald Glover’s boyish and awesome Troy Barnes. Abed, wanting to give him a rad sendoff, declared a school-wide game of The Floor is Lava, which of course led to panic, all out war, meta jargon, and some really touching moments between Troy and Abed, the bestest friends on TV since Turk and J.D. Also, Magnitude is actually British? I know I’ve said it before, but I’ll earnestly say it again: Dan Harmon is back and delivering the Community stories and characters we all missed while he was away. And what a send off for Troy, the true heart of the show next to Abed. It’s going to be hard without him, especially with Glover being the best, but Harmon probably has some sweet characters up his sleeve – criminology professor Hickey is a winner, so I trust other new faces should be super fun.

And dash it all, Elementary doesn’t come back till next week I believe. So, blast to that nonsense. At least Modern Family was fun (if you were wondering, Internet, my TV intake is double what you think it is).