Due to the nature of my *ahem, cough* ‘job’ I am on dating sites a lot. An adult dating site is the way polite society calls a site where you can find someone to hook up with. Unfortunately these sites are usually full of creepy men with empty profiles perving on the few females who dare venture on to the site.

I get a lot of messages and requests from these men, but most of the time it only serves to piss me off. The worse are the ones who start with, “I want to fuk u, call me…” and their profile has no photo, no details, zilch. I wonder if men seriously think that their intention to fuck us girls is enough to get a girl (usually hot) to just go, “Oh yes! This sounds like a winner. I will call him and we can meet up at his place and fuck. Totally safe!” Perhaps they get off writing that, and don’t actually expect a response? Whatever. If you’re a guy trying to find a hookup on an adult site, follow my simple advice below to get an actual response from a girl:

Put a picture on your profile
And not a picture of your dick. Not that I’m opposed to a dick pic (we do want to know how the goods look), but it shouldn’t be your profile picture. If you’re sending her a message because she’s hot and has a few pics on her profile, you can bet your ass she wants to know how you look too.

Start with something normal
Yes, sure we want to fuck, but we also want to be safe. A normal, perhaps cheeky but not overtly sexual introduction is more likely to get you a response than a “I got what you want, my big dick waits for u” kinda message. Try, “Hey girl, your photos are so sexy. It’s making think of naughty things. Would love to get to know you! What’s happening this weekend for you?” Or something to show that you’re not going to rape and kill us is good.

Check your spelling
I’ve sometimes gotten messages with actual gibberish in it. Either this dude is writing in a language I don’t know or is wanking off while typing. Either way to the trash it goes. You don’t need to have a message that is stellar, but just the basics of English language spelling will take you far.

Don’t be a cheapskate
Pay for the damn site! Many sites require you to pay in order to be able to communicate. So many guys try and sneak in their email or mobile with a message that says they don’t want to pay for the site. Don’t be lame. Don’t expect us to email you or call you because you’re too cheap to pay a fee.

Let me know how it goes! Good luck!