After a hard day at work I’m often so mentally exhausted that the only thing I can muster the ability to do is to make myself a cup of tea and watch some porn, as unlike my colleagues, the average scene demands nothing of me beyond a sturdy Internet connection.
After a particularly shitty day at work I sat down to a P.O.V scene in which a guy with a head mounted camera had his dick well and truly drained for about half an hour by four particularly attractive redheads. The production was fairly glossy, and I’m led to believe that for just an hour or so of work he would have been paid roughly the same as I had been paid for the entire day, time that I would never get back.
When a scene like this comes to an end I always seem to have more or less the same inner conflict, where images of myself becoming a Porn Star are quickly dismissed by a realization that nobody in their right mind would want to watch me having sex. I don’t even like having my picture taken, so the thought of performing in front of a camera genuinely terrifies me, yet that’s not to say that the industry couldn’t prove an incredible opportunity for more uninhibited men in my position.
Much like sales, porn is something you can’t really be taught to do. If you can keep it up in front of a room full of strangers and perform under pressure, you’re quids in. In this seemingly endless economic depression, scores of able young men are leaving school and see the military as the only option, but why not consider a career in porn? Although women get paid a lot more than men, their employment generally rests on their looks. For a male in the industry all you really need is to be able to perform under pressure, and like the old saying goes ‘there is no pressure like being continuously shot at’.
For a multitude of reasons my hometown has a particularly high number of military men. You can normally tell who they are from their colorless laughter and suspicious eyes, which probe and punctuate any given night into a state of unnecessary tension. Aside from the tension, one of the defining characteristics of any given weekend night is the uninhibited way in which the ‘squaddies’ like to get out their penises; the last time I was home in fact, I was standing at the bar minding my own business when a particularly bovine gentleman produced his penis and attempted to piss in my coat pocket.
These young men brandish their families with a certain aura of collective civic pride, which has its roots in a long employed practice of ‘doublethink’ in which the town collectively agrees, and perpetually asserts that our boys are out there shooting terrorism, but why not be out there shooting porn? If you can stand to attention, shoot on demand, and enjoy life in the trenches, don’t think your options are limited to the military industrial complex – there could be a career in porn waiting for YOU.
