The topic of lady nipples seem to be heating up in the world, when even as little as a millimeter of areola slipping out of any outfit is enough to bring out the pearl-clutchers, the puritans, the holier-than-thou. It’s becoming borderline ridiculous as even cartoon drawings of boobs where said boob is drawn as nothing more than a dot is considered obscene and worthy of the all mighty censor. Honestly now, what is the world coming to?

Because men seem to be walking around shirtless just fine, but should a woman be caught topless – even in a city like New York City where being topless for both men and women is legal – she can get arrested.

Anything but the nipples

Cara Delevingne showed her support for the Free the Nipple Campaign, by posting the below image on her Instagram – the social media app notorious for deleting even artistic statues of naked women. She stands next to a male model in the same pose except that her nipples are covered. Because one is considered safe and normal but the other almost identical person is considered obscene and should be censored.

Your boobs are bigger than mine

Meanwhile men are everywhere shirtless, braless, jiggling their big flappy boobs and that’s cool. We’re supposed to put up with that because after much scientific research, I conclude that it isn’t the actual boobelage (the official word for breast tissue) that people seem to be bunching up their knickers over, it’s just the areolas. Just ask any starlet walking down the red carpet, butt-baring, side-boob-baring, cleavage-baring, but god forbid she gets a nip slip.

The Social Media Gatekeepers

It’s not just the gasping people out there working hard at keeping the female nipple locked up. Even social media is at it. Just look at Facebook, telling us that beheading is acceptable to post and share but dare you even start a Facebook page about Free the Nipple and you will be taken down so fast you nips will harden. Although after whole lot of fuss and media attention it was reinstated. (Free the Boobs however is a-ok).

I don’t know what everybody seems to be so afraid about? It’s only nipples. You suck on it, teat from it, and during sex you… I dunno… do whatever the hell turns you on with it. Other than that, it’s something every human being has. Why is it that on one set of humans it’s okay but on another it’s obscene?

Free the nipples ya’ll!