Do you remember Sharon Stone in “Basic instinct”? No panties on an occasional date night? Sexy! No underwear when at work, yoga and the lawyer’s office? Not so much. Most men don’t feel comfortable with their ladies pulling this scandalous move around others. Dr. Greer says it makes you seem “too loose and available.” Doing it on dates to get your man in the mood is one thing, but daily life should include underwear, please.

“Advertisers often pair images of alcohol with good-looking women, which sends the message that drinking is sexy,” says Dr. Balleck. While alcohol can loosen you up, you should always be aware of abusing its power. “When a woman gets out of control, it becomes unattractive and embarrassing.” There’s nothing sexy about your man picking you up off the floor or begging you not to leave your best friend an expletive-laced voicemail at 3 A.M. Keep your limit in mind if you go out and drink, and stop on time to play it safe.

Some women think acting as if they had no idea how to flirt makes men feel needed, but it could mean they view you as dependent or unintelligent. That can drive him away because no man wants to feel like he’s babysitting his partner. “Men find a smart woman much sexier,” says Dr. Balleck. “Allow him to help when you need him, be it for diffusing a tricky work situation or fixing the sink, because men like solving problems,” says Dr. Balleck. “If you can fix something yourself, though, you should,” she says.

There’s a difference between being assertive and taking over the game in the bedroom. “Give hints about where you find pleasure,” says Dr. Schwartz, “but you don’t want him to feel inept or controlled by nonstop directions.” Being bossy has never ranked high on the sexy scale. Instead of telling him what to do, let him know with tender words when he finds the perfect spot or remind him how good it felt when he covered with his body a certain part of your body before. He’d rather discover he’s pushed the right buttons than be told constantly exactly what to do.

Being promiscuous when you are too quick to strip. “Getting intimate on day one may make a guy think you’re a one night stand and nothing more,” says Dr. Greer. A passionate goodnight kiss will do the trick if there is more than a feeling. And you will leave him wanting more.

I guess the question is: panties or no panties? I always keep a pair extra in my bag, after all, you never know when and with whom you’re gonna end up spending the night.