Alrighty boys, after years of dreaming about it, the planets have finally aligned, the stars are in order and you are heading home with two women for your first threesome. You are heady with excitement but you’re also nervous. It’s great having a fantasy come true, but it can also be scary. Pleasing one woman can be nerve racking, much less two.

Okay, first off, calm down. You don’t want a situation where you become too excited to be useful, if you know what I mean. Secondly, read our guide of dos and don’ts of a threesome:

Do be safe

The general rule is that one fresh condom per lady. Yes, that means changing it up when you’re switching ladies. It might take the spontaneity out of the situation a little, but it’s better than ending up with an STD.

Do share the love

Remember it’s a threesome, so share your attention. You wouldn’t like it if you’re relegated to being that dude that watches, ala Ross from friends, so don’t be that dude that only pays attention to one of the girls no matter how tempting it may be. You wanted a threesome, so have a threesome!

Do be clear on what’s ok and what isn’t

Not all threesomes are created equal. Sometimes you’re allowed to shag one but not the other. Sometimes you’re there to watch, sometimes anything goes. So be clear to check first what’s ok and what isn’t.

Don’t bring in your crush and your partner

Maybe you’re in a relationship with an open partner who is up for a threesome. Still, I would recommend, no matter how open your partner is, unless she specifically requests it, you don’t bring over the woman you have a crush on. That can just be cause for all kinds of future trouble – or it may not, but you don’t want to gamble on something like this. I would suggest having a threesome with a stranger or even an escort. That way after the fun has been had, she can go her way and you guys yours.

Don’t be overly intoxicated

Nothing wrong with having a glass or two of wine to loosen the inhibitions a little, but you don’t want to be puking on the floor or not be able to get it up. Also, trying to get a girl so drunk that she will agree to having a threesome is rape. So don’t do it.

You want to be able to remember your night. This is a wank bank worthy experience, to be filed away so it can be brought up on those lonely days. So good luck and have fun!